I always have something against putting down someone's worth. No matter how much I want to forget him, to get rid of this feeling, in the end I think I'll just let Allah handle this one. I'm too weak for this. I cant. I thought I'm stronger than this but I'm not. I cant. I seriously cant. Im not as strong as I think I am. Listing down all his flaws its like rejecting His creature. Who am I to do that when I too am not a perfect human?
I just want this feeling to go away. I really do. Its, a toxic. Its not good for me. I'm better off without it. There's nothing good will come out of this. Oh Allah I know this one is totally on me; it is I who choose to dwell with fire but ya Allah, I'm afraid of the burn. I'm truly scared for this aftermath. Help me ya Allah. May my heart and I survived this situation.
I rarely ask for this but Allah, please please please, please help me to get through this. I can now see why You've waited for this long and only let me taste it now. I now know why it is such a forbidden thing for me so far; I cant handle it. Please Allah please let me go of this mess just this once, I'm just not prepared for the heat afterwards. I'm too weak for that. Only to You I surrender.
